Dear xxx,

i love you.

i’m not sure exactly what that means. it’s scary. i don’t even really know you well enough to say those words… but i love every single bit of the you i know so far.

you are sweet, and kind, and beautiful. your smile makes my heart skip a beat. i could swim in the blue of your beautiful eyes. they make me melt. they make me suddenly become so many things I am normally not… uncertain. awkward. weird. afraid. vulnerable. unable to speak.

i look at you and see the snapshots of imaginary moments of us together. laughing. holding hands. holding each other. singing. dancing. tangled up sweetly, quietly, closely. so very happy.

there are so many reasons that I can’t tell you all of this: i am terrible at relationships and i’ve left the broken wreckage of so many of them behind me. i couldn’t stand to ever hurt you. i am also afraid that you could hurt me. i am not sure if you even remotely feel anything like what i feel for you. there is so much to risk. so many problems could happen because we also work together.

neither of us are the kind of people that take the first step. neither of us would put ourselves out there. we are reserved. even shy sometimes. proper. guarded.

so i don’t know if there will ever be anything more than this… i can dream about it, and hope that some incredibly lucky moment will change things, but that moment might never come.

but i want you to know that i think you are amazing. even if after you read this you wonder forever who wrote it… know that somebody’s heart will race every time they see you. somebody’s breath will catch when you smile. even when you are tired, or when you are having a bad day, somebody you know thinks that you are just right and wishes we lived in a world where we could be something so much more.